


We Have Time

by echidna_monstermom



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce too, Hurt/Comfort, I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO BE OKAY, M/M, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thorki - Freeform, jane is also mentioned, valkyrie mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14696900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echidna_monstermom/pseuds/echidna_monstermom
Summary: Two emotionally constipated adopted space brothers have an awkward make-out session, fight about it, then finally talk and start to unpack the last few years of grief, trauma, and loss.





	We Have Time

Loki was regretting his choice of sleeping quarters. 

 

Once their ship was set on its course for Earth, the huddle of refugees had gradually begun to shuffle off to separate rooms, to rest and to heal. Before heading to bed, Valkyrie had planted an affectionate kiss on Thor's cheek and flashed a smile at Loki that was something between grudging respect and a rather menacing warning glare. Clearly, they still had some trust issues to work through, but that could wait for a different day. Hulk had grunted a terse "night" before stomping into his room. Thor winced slightly at the sound of what was likely a splintering bed frame, then glanced towards Loki and shrugged. 

 

"Well, brother, if you're about ready to retire, I thought we could sleep over there," Thor said, gesturing to a nearby room. "We haven't shared a room since we were boys. It will be like we're lads again." He let out a forced laugh. Apparently sensing Loki's skepticism, his smile and shoulders fell slightly as he added, "I haven't been sleeping so well lately, by myself. But," he continued, louder, back straightening again, "do as you wish. I'm going to bed." Loki watched him walk away for a moment before, mentally cursing himself, he followed after, as he always seemed to end up doing.

 

Loki climbed into bed in the darkness. Across the room, he heard the _thwack, thwack_ of two boots hitting the floor, followed by a cheerful, “Goodnight, brother.” Loki was still staring up at the ceiling a few minutes later when the deafening sound of rending metal made him bold upright in panic, reflexively summoning a knife. The ship was under attack, he had to—this train of thought was interrupted by another thunderous roar. Suspicious, Loki narrowed his eyes towards the mountainous silhouette of his sleeping brother, and sure enough, moments later heard another sound from the same direction like a rumbling volcano.

 

Loki crept across the room to Thor's bed and glared down at the golden boy, infuriatingly beautiful even one-eyed, mane shorn, still grubby, snoring violently enough to frighten a dragon. He began to remember why he had so resented rooming together when they were younger—even then Thor had snored like a bear, but this was much worse than what Loki remembered from childhood. Not like a bear...perhaps a family of bears, being relentlessly slaughtered with a chainsaw.  He perched on the edge of the bed and pinched Thor's nostrils closed. Well, almost--it dampened the sound a bit, but Loki let go when Thor made a small choking noise. Admittedly, more than once he had pictured an emotional reconciliation between the two of them, alone, on a bed...but in most of these fantasies Thor was awake, and none of them involved the unholy noise coming out of his face right now. Loki jabbed a slender finger into Thor's cheek. Nothing. He cupped a hand around his brother's face and realized with a stabbing pain in his chest that he was looking down at the only thing left in the world that mattered to him. 

 

Honestly, Loki wouldn’t have been able to sleep much regardless; at least one of them could rest tonight. Holding his breath, he leaned forward to gently press his lips against the corner of Thor's open mouth before he returned to lie awake in his own bed. A single soft, blissful moment—then Loki heard a sharp sudden inhale and recoiled, guts lurching painfully. Inches away, one eyelid fluttered sleepily across startling blue. Loki felt the words bubble up and pour out his mouth before he had time to think, muttering an incoherent explanation to buy time.

 

Still dreamy and disoriented from sleep, Thor blinked and focused on Loki's wide eyes in the darkness. Loki's mouth was close enough that he could feel his breath on his face as Loki babbled something about...bears? In the starlight pouring in from the window, his pale skin looked almost illuminated from within, green eyes reflecting like chips of green flame. He looked...beautiful. Thor's hand was moving before his mind had caught up. He reached up to curl his fingers around the back of Loki's head and pulled him down, stifling Loki's startled squawk against his mouth. For a moment Thor felt the tension of his muscles resisting, but then Loki melted, exhaling his full weight into Thor's body. Loki's jaw unclenched as his mouth parted, tongue exploratory and surprisingly cold against Thor's bottom lip. His hair was soft between Thor’s fingers, and... felt perhaps longer than it should? Thor brought his other hand up around Loki's waist to crush him fiercely against his chest, where he could feel Loki's heart pounding against his own rib cage, his breasts--his...breasts...

 

Thor grabbed Loki's shoulder and pushed him away, yelping when he saw Jane's flushed face staring back at him.

 

"WHAT IN THE LIVING HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

 

She stammered, "I just--just thought--"

 

"STOP DOING IT."

 

A flash of light and a startled Loki reappeared, flinching backwards. 

 

"I can be--I can be someone else--" Loki hated himself for the words before they left his mouth, but even more for the desperate way his voice cracked. 

 

Thor groaned and pressed the heel of his hand into his remaining eye. "I need to…not be here." He threw the blankets off and was on his feet in one fluid moment, striding across the room and out the door.

Shit.  _Shit_. Loki slumped over on one side and pulled his knees towards his chest, burying his face in his hands. There were escape pods. He could leave, right now, and go...shit. No. No more running. Being held, even briefly, Loki couldn't remember ever feeling more safe, or warm, or wanted. He wrapped his arms around his own shoulders, which somehow made him feel even more alone in the empty bed. He gave himself a few more minutes to brood before he swallowed, drew himself up, pushed his hair back, and inched over to the door to peek out.

 

Thor stood facing the wall of glass looking out at the stars, his back to the open door. Loki sidled up cautiously and stood next to him a foot apart with his body turned to the window. He cast his eyes sideways at Thor’s face, trying to read him. The god of thunder looked exhausted and somewhere far away in his thoughts. "I'm tired, brother." Loki waited, making the rare choice to remain quiet. "I've stayed busy since...mother, and then you, and now father, all this..." He waved a hand toward the remainder of the ship, where thousands of refugee Asgardians slept off the annihilation of their homeland. "I guess I didn't want enough time to think about things." Thor paused. "Jane...it wasn't a mutual dumping."

 

A great start to this conversation. "Oh goodness, really?" Controlling his tongue this long had never been Loki’s strong suit.

 

Thor either didn't notice the sarcasm or was too accustomed to it by now to comment. "I wanted to be good for her. And I tried, truly. But Jane...she's brilliant. And she's good at her work. And I'm good at...being me. I'm not so good at staying in one place, it turns out. Being domestic. 

 

"After everything that happened with The Avengers, and Ultron, on Earth...you heard about all that, right? You were still dead then. Or back on Asgard, I guess. But after that, I just kept finding more reasons to leave. Some trinket to recover, some fight that needed to be fought somewhere else. And I always came back, but one day when I did, she told me she had found someone else." He sighed. "Nice fellow. Earth doctor. A bit scrawny. Wouldn't have been my first choice, but...she does seem happy. Happier than I had seen her in some time." 

 

Thor paused, probably waiting for Loki to say something sympathetic. Instead, he retorted, "I never liked her."

 

"Loki--"

 

"She was never right for you. One more mortal infatuated with a god. Of course you couldn't hold her attention any longer after the novelty wore off. I don't know what you expected."

 

Thor looked genuinely hurt. “I loved her.”

 

“I’ve never heard you say  _that_  about a woman before,” Loki spat, more venomously than he meant to.

 

“You know that this was different!” He exhaled for a beat, then continued, “Any anyway, if you dislike her so much, then what in the hell was all that about?”

 

Loki felt his face flush and turned away. “What do you want? I... panicked. I didn’t think you’d want to wake up and see...” He mumbled. “Me.”

 

"How can you--Loki, that's what I've wanted for years.  _You're_ the one who keeps leaving." Thor's voice softened. "My whole life...I could never picture any future for myself without you by my side. But then you made me live that future. And I realized that I don't need you. I can live without you." Loki visibly scowled in spite of himself, angry at his own outrage. "I gave up on waiting for you to come back. Or on trying to force you to be someone you can't. But even then, I still hoped. Because even though I don't need you here, even after everything you've done to us...I still want you here. This is home." Thor turned a broad, unguarded smile at Loki. "I don't want you to be anyone else. I'm glad you're back, brother."

 

"It seemed you were. Brother." Face burning, Loki struggled to keep his voice even, but he couldn’t help but smirk with satisfaction when Thor sheepishly ducked his head and ran a hand through his cropped hair. He grunted. “I think we have more to talk about than I thought.” They both kept their faces towards the stars to avoid meeting each other’s eyes.

 

Loki spoke his words with deliberation. “We have time. I plan… to be here for a while.” Without looking, he could feel Thor’s beaming grin beside him. They stood in silence for a small eternity before Loki finally cleared his throat to change the subject. This had been much more than enough emotional intimacy for one day, and he should probably start considering a more pressing source of anxiety.  

 

"Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to earth?"

 

Obviously only half paying attention, Thor replied immediately. "Yes, of course. The people of earth love me. I'm very popular."

 

"Let me rephrase that." Loki took a breath. "Do you really think it's a good idea to bring  _me_  back to earth?"

 

"Probably not, to be honest. But I wouldn't worry about it, brother. I feel like everything is gonna work out fine."

**Author's Note:**

> Oops. I wanted to write something cute to deal with my post-Infinity feelings, but it still ended up sad.


End file.
